Goodbye My Lover
by Ely-Baby
Summary: [One-shot. Songfic.] There's only one person who can't be happy for the Potters the day of their wedding: Remus Lupin. R


Disclaimer: No, Harry Potter is not mine, but I would really love it to be. And, by the way, this song is James Blunt's.

A/N: Okay, let's say that this is my first attempt to write both a songfic and a MWPP story, so I don't know if I did things right. I don't know why, but when I listen to this song nothing else comes to my mind but a Remus/Lily sappy story. I'm not a fan of MWPP stories, but I really wanted to write this. Oh, well, thanks to all the people that are going to read this, and thanks to all the people that will leave reviews. I really hope that you'll like it, and if you don't, please, don't be too harsh with me. Enjoy it!

To lockofcurls: Thanks a lot for beta-reading this story.

**Goodbye My Lover**

"May I have your attention, please?"

All the people turned their heads towards Sirius and the chats faded away as he hit his glass with a fork. "Thank you," he said when the silence fell upon all the guests. "I just wanted to propose atoast for the newlyweds."

Everybody clapped their hands and raised their glasses towards James and Lily, as if it was the first time that Sirius has proposed a toast that afternoon, and not the tenth. The guests seemed to enjoy putting Lily and James in the middle of the attention, and they enjoyed even more when the bride blushed as they all cheered for a kiss.

James turned his head towards his bride. "I think that they want us to kiss, again," he whispered with a half smile across his face. Lily smiled back, while James placed his hands on her cheek and bended down to kiss her.

Everybody burst into cheerful laughs and clapped their hands when they finally broke apart. The newlyweds looked at the guests while James gave Lily a gentle hug. They seemed to be having a great fun. Everybody was enjoying the wedding party, everybody but a sandy-haired man who felt very out of place. He stood a away from the crowd of people that applauded and cheered. He wasn't wearing a sad look upon his face, but it wasn't the kind of expression that you would see at a wedding either, and when Lily met his eyes, he looked away quickly.

---

"Sirius, have you seen Remus?" Lily asked James' best man.

"Remus? No, why?" asked Sirius, swallowing a big piece of wedding cake.

"I can't find him anywhere," she answered, looking around.

"Well, Lily, I think he's somewhere around here," he said, bringing another piece of cake to his mouth.

Lily looked at him and raised her eyebrows. "Really? Oh, Sirius, you are always so useful," she said sarcastically.

"Hey, what do you think I am? Anyway, why do you want to know where Remus is?" Sirius looked at her intently.

"He didn't come and greet us after the ceremony. I wanted to know if everything was alright with him," she answered simply, trying to sound as natural as she could. What she would have been afraid of, though? She was saying the truth.

"He didn't come up? That's strange," said Sirius thoughtfully.

Lily nodded almost imperceptibly and looked around her. "I'll ask if someone has seen him," she told Sirius before walking away.

"Hey, Lily," Sirius called after her. "Remus very much likes the pond behind the trees at the end of the garden," he said, recalling a previous conversation with his best mate. Lily smiled and nodded.

She walked towards the very end of the huge garden. Sirius has been so kind to let them use his house for the wedding reception. Especially after the fact that he had just lost his only brother, even though they didn't get a long too well. Something that Lily knew pretty well, since her sister didn't even show up at her wedding.

She didn't know exactly where the pond was, since she only came once to Grimmauld Place before that day. Sirius' mother hadn't been so pleased to have a Muggle born in her house, so her stay there hadn't been really enjoyable.

She reached the trees at the extremity of the garden. She had imagined the trees to grow thicker, but to her surprise they didn't. A path seemed to wind through them toward the pond. Lily looked in front of her, the ground seemed damp and it was covered by a layer of leaves and roots.

She took the bottom of her wedding dress in her hands and stepped carefully between the trees. Her white shoes sank more into the ground with every step she took. One of the white flowers that she had in her hair fell down as it fit in a branch; Lily stopped, but didn't pick it up. It was a pity because it took her so long to do that nice hairdo, but the flower was already half covered with mud. She took another step, paying attention not to ruin the dress.

After a while, she reached a small sheet of water at the very end of the garden. And there he was, sitting on a down branch, with one of his legs dangling in the pond, and the other one picked up next to his chest. He was looking at the water, or so Lily thought, since she couldn't see his face.

"Remus," she called him. She would have wanted to say his name louder, but it was like her voice died in her throat at that very moment. However, her bare whisper seemed to work anyway, because Remus turned slowly his head towards Lily.

He looked at the beautiful young woman that stood some feet away from him without being able to say a word.

Lily stepped towards him, and Remus climbed down from the branch. When they found themselves a couple of feet away, Remus seemed to find his voice.

"You are beautiful," he murmured.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you._

Lily's cheeks flushed. "Thank you," she murmured back.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, taking his eyes away from her with great difficulty.

"You didn't show up after the ceremony, I wanted to be sure that you were alright," she said simply.

"I'm fine," he answered softly. "How did you find me?"

"Sirius said that you liked this place."

Remus breathed deeply. "I do. Isn't it beautiful?"

Lily nodded. "It is."

They stood there for a while, waiting for the other to speak.

"Are you enjoying the party?"

Remus looked at her and smiled. "Of course I do, why?"

"Because you didn't look like you were having fun," she said seriously.

He smiled again. "The girl that I love just married one of my best friends. I swear that I tried to be cheerful, but it seems that I can't fool anybody."

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

"You can't fool me," she said simply.

Remus nodded. "You know, maybe your husband is wondering where you have gone."

"He'll find me, like I found you here."

"What about your guests? You shouldn't leave them alone."

"Why do you want me to go?" she asked, biting her bottom lip.

"Why do you want to stay?" snapped Remus a little bit more rudely than he intended. Lily looked at him taken aback by his tone. She never thought that she would have ever heard Remus talk to her that way.

"I'm sorry," he added after a while.

"If you really want me to go, you don't have to do anything more than ask," she said calmly.

Remus shook his head. "You don't understand. I want you to go and I want you to stay at the same time."

"Remus, I-"

"Why James, Lily?" he interrupted her. "Why him? You hated him."

Lily lowered her eyes. "Feelings change."

"Mine will never change," he said firmly.

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._

"You can't say that," she said sincerely. "Maybe one day you'll find a girl and you'll fall madly in love with her."

"I thought I had already found that girl," he said, looking into her eyes.

"You thought wrong," she muttered, feeling her knees going weak.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

"Do you love him?" he asked suddenly.

Lily looked at him and then lowered her eyes. "I do, Remus, with all my heart."

"Did you love me?"

Lily would have given anything to be able to lie to him, but she couldn't. She wanted to be completely honest with him.

"I did."

"With all your heart?"

She looked at the pond. "With all my heart."

Remus sighed and he, too, looked at the water. "And you married James."

Lily turned towards him and placed the hand that wasn't holding the bottom of her dress on his cheek, making him turning his face in her direction. "Remus, I married James, but there'll always be a special place for you in my heart."

Remus smiled. "Thanks Lily, but you can't have a special place in mine, because it is already completely yours."

"Remus," whispered Lily while a tear slid down her cheek.

He brushed it away before it reached her chin. Then he placed a hand on Lily's, he pressed it over his cheek and slowly moved his face and kissed her palm.

"Can I kiss the bride?" he asked her softly.

Lily smiled while another tear fell down her cheek.

Remus placed a hand around Lily's neck paying attention not to ruin her hairdo, then he bended down and pressed his lips softly against hers. She didn't kiss him back, but he felt her dress falling from her hand.

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet._

"Lily, Remus," someone called them.

Remus let her go slowly.

"You were right," he said, looking towards the path that led to that place. "James would find you."

Lily turned towards the direction from where the voice came, wiping away the tears from her face not wanting her husband to see her crying, but James was approaching the place at that very moment.

"Lily, Remus, here you are," said James eagerly.

Lily smiled to James and walked towards him, James hugged her with an arm.

"What are you doing here? Sirius has almost finished all the wedding cake, I managed to save a piece for you Remus," he said, laughing.

"Thank you, James," answered Remus.

"Hey, mate, are you alright? You look awful," said James while his expression became concerned.

Remus looked at Lily in James' arms. Lily looked back at him with an anxious look upon her face, but Remus smiled.

"I'm fine, James," he said cheerfully.

"Oh, I almost forgot, tomorrow is full moon, right?" he said.

Remus nodded.

"Well, let's go back to the party, your mother was looking for you, Lily," said James sweetly.

Lily nodded.

"Are you coming, Remus?" James asked his friend.

"I'll be right there," he answered.

"Okay," answered James, walking away with Lily. "Oh, look Lily your dress got dirty, what a pity." Remus heard him say while they disappeared behind the trees.

'You are the luckiest man on heart, James Potter. I really hope that you know that,' thought Remus watching his only true love walking away with her husband.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me. _

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

- The End -


End file.
